The past two days has been nothing short of an epiphany. I know the greatness of parental love. We all do. But how many of us take them for granted? I’m damn sure we all did (or some still do). I’m guilty as charged. But it wasn’t until two days ago it hit me really really REALLY hard. And by that I mean I just felt this overwhelming sense of love and patience my parents have for me. It all started when I was taking my clothes from the cupboard and I saw my mum sleeping in a very fixed position. So quiet and almost lifeless I had a very rude shock. Suddenly the feelings I would have had if the day arrives and I KNOW THAT I haven’t done what I could - THAT bang of regret was something I DEFINITELY DO NOT want to experience. EVER!!!!!!! IT WAS SUCH a STRONG bang of regret I really got a SCARE out of my life. Like a sudden sense of enlightment that I felt everything - that all parents are just working really hard in silence, in hope of some day, just one day, we’ll understand it all.

There are many, when their love is not reciprocated by a party, walk in a long endless stretch of darkness & emotional turmoil holding onto this love they may never get. I ask you not to lose yourself in love and forsake your potential to become an outstanding individual because your parents are the ones who have provided for you and brought you up with the utmost love, care and concern. You must not forget they gave you life. Be someone successful - and by successful, it’s success in what you want in life. Everyone’s definition of success is different as everyone wants different things and have different priorities in life. Someone can be the successful housewife because it’s what she wants in life - to take good care of her family. That to me, is success in own terms. Comparisons would be endless and miserable. Everyone is unique but I believe we all just want to be happy in whatever we do. Nowadays alot of articles are written on the pursuit of happiness - anyone rem Sumiko Tan wrote it a mth ago on Sunday Times? Some say that it’s not that they don’t want to move on, they can’t move on. This, my friend, is an excuse. I know we are afterall human beings made with emotions. Take your time to move on, but not too long. Time is too precious. The human’s mind is a very powerful tool. If you want it enough, you will have it.

I’m not a saint, I’m definitely not in a worthy position to preach but I’m trying to be a better person. I’m sure everyone does. Who wants to be worse in whatever things they do? No one lor. I guess that sense of “loss” and “regret” really gave me a tight slap across the face. If my head is not supported by a neck, it would have gone spinning some good rounds man.. Hahahaha..

They say you don’t know the sense of loss until you lose something. I haven’t and thankfully I’m still in time to give my all. As I grow older, I fear losing them. What would life be without them? Ever?

To my dearest father & mother, not that you both will ever read this, for all these years of patience & love, I’m eternally grateful. I will never be able to repay the depth of love back.

I’ll make the most out of my life!

With all my love.

Okays, some of you would recall I ran in this charity run last year! M.I.L.K Run actually stands for “Mainly I Love Kids”, a charity run organised by Beyond Social Services and the proceedings would benefit youth to help them get back on the right track in life. I remember it fell on my bday last year. So anyways, I didn’t sleep last night, prior to today’s Stomp performance and I’m reallllllly tempted to sleep now. I was just packing my room, throwing away stuffs I don’t want/need anymore.. when.. look at what I found!

Number tag for Milk Run 2007.. Wahahaha -_-||

So I thought what the heck, I’m gonna bring it along to take a pic to signify the passing of one year! Above pic was taken at 9:30am at SYC. I cut my fringe myself yesterday cos it was irritating my eyes and OMG.. WRONG MOVE. I ended up looking like an idiot and I was cursing myself for being Miss Itchy Hands cos I’m gonna perform with a retarded fringe and there is no way my fringe gonna experience a miracle growth spurge overnight for me to look normal again. Just when I was stuck. a few hrs later I thought changing the parting might solve the problem. And it did. Btw, bad choice for not sleeping cos I was knuckled when the day finally ended at 3pm. Notice my eye bags too.

Why am I writing these despite wanting nothing but to rest is cos I’m filled with alot of funny gas. By funny gas I mean no farting but just wanna talk nonsensical funny stuffs, so before I lose it, I’d better jolt everything down. I know myself, if I don’t post now, I would procrastinate until the post never shows up again..

Some of the girls, being camera happy after realising someone brought cam!

With more of them. Notice my right leg showed abit of scar. I covered the rest up. It was the fall more than a month back and I can tell you the scar is REALLY BAD. It has affected my dressing. I no longer wear mini or shorts. Urgh, still thinking of how to minimise the scarring. It’s just awful now.. The area is still dented. =(

On the bus with Terry & Kenneth, against the glaring morning sun. Yes the sun was fierce, not that we’re fair like ghost ok.

Another one, okay forget it. LOL

Insanity on the bus to Zouk..

The boys with sunnies! Thought tt they looked pretty good in them.

Chu Zhen and I! Haha, I think she thinks I’m a mad woman cos I’m always telling her nonsensical stories of mine.

Welcome to Milk Run 2008!

They wanted one too. hee

Yue Yin & I. She’s really pretty IRL.

With mah girls.

Lunch time!

The bento set…

The boys eating, nothing interesting here. LOL

OKAY. This! Terry, who was beside me, just suddenly told me to look at Meiyin. Her position of eating looked quite uncomfortable to us.. Wahahaha.. Ok I’m damn bo liao, like this also shoot. But cos I was quite amazed lah. She was totally at ease! hehe

I just noticed the walls are of the same colour haha.

Susanti with Vicky. Susanti on knowing that I brought my camera along, decided to be adventurous with shots. So..

“Take our back, take our back!”

“Okay. Another one like this.”

Just when she wanted to take a shot of jumping jack, the rest wanted a group photo so we complied.

OKAY. Weifeng took this shot for no apparent reason and I didn’t know he was taking all these shots so when I got my camera back. I was thinking, “Eh who is this concave girl… I don’t remember seeing her. Anyway she needs more meat” when I realised, upon zooming in, that it was ME?!! Ark… awful…

Susanti wasn’t going to let me off, and she wanted me to join in the jumping jack attempt. First try.

We managed to all look the same. The same constipated look. WAHAHAHAA.

Again! Fail.

Again! Do re mi.

We were already laughing very hard from the multiple failed attempts so the photographer finally suggested that we just kept jumping until she got us right. And so we did, despite laughing damn hard. And viola!

………… It was a successful shot on first inspection. But…

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I looked like a praying mantis lor. -_-

LOLLLL

I don’t know them but they looked seriously tired out to me. Long day for everyone!

Sea of Stompers

Are musically inclined people good in art as well? Must be the right brain at work..

Took a pic of Kenneth and his pail cos I thought his freestyle drawing was damn cool! Too bad I didn’t take the other side.

Yammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………

… Senggggggggggggggggg. A toast of 100plus after a successful performance!

Girls from SMUSD.

Okay, Shu insisted I take a pic with my bling bling stick to keep as a memory.

Alrights!! End of the day! Hot, sweaty and flustered (but happy). I wanted to go home, bathe & rest asap. Till next year…. if any chance.

Wonderful memories!

Back to reality, time to work hard on stuffs

Dah was great in getting the hommies for a simple dinner. Simple, that’s all we need. To see old frens again. Just a couple of hours affair but it was sweet.

Anyway, Darius was playing with my already low-batt cam all the time.. and in the whilst of doing so, caught really unglam shots of me.. like……

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THIS

Damn you Darius. Waste my battery to take such shots! THANKS~! Wahahaha

Love ya guys. Till the next time we meet. =D

From Esme and Valerie & Shang Liang. =)

A year older, a year wiser.. Am really glad to experience life. =) Am not one to talk about birthdays anymore but I’m a really blessed girl that friends had arranged stuffs for me.

Esme (called me at 3pm): OMG You’re still sleeping?!?!?!
Me (drowsy): Yeah man.. omg not that i want to.. my phone has been bombarded with sms and calls i just couldn’t sleep in peace.. but everyone is so sweet tho

The nicest had got to be my ex-boss, whom I have not spoken to in 3 mths. I just suddenly miss them very much.

Anson: Happy Birthday!!
Me: Aw so nice! That idiot chang also never sms yet wahahaha
Anson: Haha! We miss you! Hope everything is good at ur side… Never give up your dream ya.. Jia you! (I left his company to pursue what I really want and it was a tough decision cos I just got pay increment. anyway, i stand by the belief that we only live once)
Me: Yeah I miss u all too!! Think I will pop by for lunch some day..
Anson: Don’t go to the wrong office lor. We moved to the new one liao. Can come play tennis with us… (their new office is at the rooftop of the building, completed with a tennis court!)

And the most random…

Eric: Happy Birthday! Gong xi fa cai!
Me: Hong bao na lai.

Everyone who had smsed… Just want to say, I appreciate the thought very very much. =) LOVE!! I’ll be a better person!

WARNING… SWEATY & MESSY ( ie; super gross.. OMG! ) images of me ahead.. pls don’t vomit… but it’s all effort! So I’m putting them up.. Don’t care la.

Rehearsal pics…! First up.. with some of stick-ers!

With Vicky, Susanti, Han Ying &.. hmmm.. I’ll find out again - but she’s a really NICE girl! Anyway Susanti looks uncanny like Yvonne (my ex coursemate in NYP) in real life! IT’S REAL.

Debrief..

Alrights, to fill you guys in, Stomp is one of the performances SSA is putting up in support of Milk Run 2008. There will be others dancing but I can’t dance to save my life (or my dog’s) so I’m “stomping” instead. Hehe… Do support the run, if you can or you can catch me there! And please say hi to me should you see me.

But before that, I’m really looking forward to Thursday’s (3.7) performance at ICA…. I hope everyone will enjoy our first performance with high spirits!!

I’ll end this post off with two more pics.

wz I didn’t ignore you, but I didn’t receive the msn prompt from you..

Colin: Hope you don’t mind (your identity remains secret ok), I really found it hilarious. Nice knowing ya! =)

Tears dwelled up in my eyes as I read the passing of 20-yr-old Sophie, a Burmese cat from Shannon’s blog. The passing of life is always bittersweet and funerals are for the living, whether they’re meant for a kin or a pet; to remember those who have passed on. Life is but a journey, filled with ups and downs and the older we get, the more things we have to face, learn and experience. I’ve heard from not just J’s mum, but my father just yesterday, that they’re tired. “Hao Lei” they said to me. There’re too many times I feel that I’m being forced to grow up in a span of two yrs after graduating. No time to breathe or think, just being thrusted into the working world like that. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. And I know soon more of my fellow friends would feel this way.

Now I just want to take a seat back, and breathe. And think. And plan my next step. Do some stuffs that I’ve always wanted to do. And to remember that despite all the downs, we have to learn to stand up again and know that life is still beautiful. Or so I choose to believe. I shall end off with four main things that I feel are the most important to me in life, I may learn more as I walk this journey, but at this point, they will suffice.

Faith. For it makes us believe.

Hope. For it keeps us going no matter what.

Strength. For only a strong person can experience joy, and in turn, bring joy to others.

Love. For Love never ends.

Anyway, for something more light-hearted. I was browsing some old photos last night for I want to burn them into CD and delete from my laptop to free up space when….

I REALISED MY FACE WAS REALLY ROUND! WHY?? WHY?? Why was it like a mooncake without me even knowing???

Fast forward 2 yrs…

OMG! I didn’t realise!!!

Wassup.

Btw, anyone who is reading and knows me but hasn’t gotten my MSN, pls add me: anywool [AT] hotmail [DOT] com.

You can be just a random reader, or from SSA. =) Yeah.

New role, new responsibilities, new challenges… And I don’t wanna be shy anymore!!! I want to breakthrough! RAWR. I’m tired of convincing people that I’m actually a very shy person, which none of them ever believes me (why?!). So I would always be arrowed to perform and I inevitably find myself trembling on the stage on the actual day. Rawrrr.. I dont want to feel like that anymore..

No more………no more… I want to start enjoying myself on stage! Instead of shaking all over!

Nothing much to update from my driving endeavours. The instructor has gone quiet, so nothing funny I can share too. Looking fwd to Module 3, finally, I get to park my vehicle~

Okay.. seems like I write nothing but my driving endeavours.. Wahahaha

Finally got to try the test routes and I completed 3 test routes today in a lesson. No major faults, just that I forgot to go back to the left lane after making a right turn at one point. Gear shift is now intuitive, both up and down. But there was this one fault that I knew if I committed during the test I confirm fail lor. Wahahaha, cos I was making a right turn behind 4 other vehicles, one was already inside the junction waiting so technically behind 3 cars lar. Then the green arrow was still on wah I damn excited to just turn but by the time I got there, it was blinking already so I couldnt get passed and THEN, my car was already beyond stop line when the red light came on. Okay, other than that Test Route 5 involved this bloody SMALL and narrow road with oncoming traffic and alot of road works going on. So first time going through, abit too gong. Don’t know when to stop cos they bloody emphasize on safety then I have to keep stopping.

BUT! I got to try emergency stopping for the first time today and like all things first time you try you ji tao damn gong one lor. What my instructor (Car 178 of Ubi driving Centre, he very funny, I met him for 5 times already, the most out of my rotation of instructors) told me was I would apply emergency braking the moment he tapped on front. So he very smart, let me drive until happy already when we were going back to the school…

Instructor 178 (wahahahaha, btw he is Ken): Ok, we go back to the school now.
Me: Wah! You let me drive back to the school??? WHEE! They always don’t let me drive back lor, ask me to park one isolated corner then the instructor will take over to drive back. SIAN one. I think they scare I knock pple down like bowling pins. whaahhaa
Ken: But I always let you drive back ma, you didn’t realise?
Me: Oh issit.. wahahah I don’t rem leh, but I do recall there were times I can drive back to the school, so it was always during your lesson lah.
Ken: Yah lah, arbo who?

So drive drive drive, very happy… inside school liao..

Ken: Then you go round the circuit..
Me: WAH! So nice, instead of stopping the car once I’m inside the school’s compound, I still get to drive a few more rounds round the circuit! Swee lah. Happyyyy

Suddenly..

Ken: *taps*
Me: Eh what you want? (I was too engrossed in driving happily)
Ken: *taps*!!!!
Me: OH! *press brake*
Ken: Wah like that the person in front of you die already. During the test the tester wants you to E-brake you must apply IMMEDIATELY. Anyway like that you failed liao. Your everything can be done nicely but once you can’t do E-brake you fail.
Me: Wah liao! Imagine if I that day until E-brake I fail I may just murder the tester. okok Let me try again. I drive off now. Anyway everything also fail. You all snake mice all one nest. Keep make pple go back to retake so you all make more money.. lol
Ken: No lor, I benefit nothing out of it leh. You all must drive safely lah. Forget to look to your right shoulder n signal..
Me: O yea O yea. Paiseh, I first time do E-brake! Super gong!
Ken: *taps*
Me: *press brake*
Ken: Wah like that the person may not have died but INJURED! I ask you E-brake you must JAM the brake! ONE HARD STEP on the brake! And clutch in if your engine hasnt stalled yet..
Me: OKOK! Paiseh paiseh, I promise to jam my brake. I SUPER NOT USED TO IT cos you know outside driving they keep brainwash me to brake smoothly so I always press only. *looked over my right shoulder and drove off*
Ken: Never signal….
Me: O yah hor.
Ken: Look, the car in front just did E-brake
Me: O yeah.. wah double L!!!! He taking test! wahahahaha
Ken: We go in front of his car and do E-brake (jeremy i think u would do such shizz to me if you were allowed in the compound)
Me: WAHAHAHAA!!! So chek ark!!!! Don’t want lar! Later cause him to fail, pple test until here already. OK la I know you kidding also.

Anyway, funny clip on driving a manual car from the queen.

ge ge jie jie di di mei mei men, my Traffic Police test is on 29th August (Friday)! My last driving lesson was pretty good. I hope to upkeep this steadiness, which is damn hard to predict. Sometimes I’m in a damn good mood and look fwd to driving but the lesson didn’t turn out too well in the end. Like the one before the last, I kept stalling the car which DROVE ME NUTS cos I was doing everything right but yet it still STALLED?? What the hell was wrong! So my instructor, sensing my frustration, just told me that that particular car’s bitting point is much higher. Warrau. So that pretty much sucked for me. But it was a good experience for me that driving a diff car is different. Sometimes, like the last one I had, I was just too freaking tired but yet I had to drag my carcass down to the driving centre, surprisingly I’m damn steady, everything done right… got the 3 pt U turn right on 2nd try too. The rest like lane discipline, downshifting of gears, no dragging gears, right turn, everything was right! So I enjoyed it!!

So you see, damn hard to say, but wish me luck! hehe… I’m praying for a good weather day…

Just wanna share an amusing encounter with a cab driver who was driving me to the driving centre 4 days ago..

Me: Uncle, Ubi Driving Centre pls, thanks
TU (taxi uncle in short): Ah Miss, learning driving?
Me: Yup…
TU: Auto or Manual Car?
Me: Manual…. (I wasn’t particularly chatty cos I was running late)
TU: When’s your TP??
Me: August….
TU: Ah.. first try?
Me: Yup..
TU: Aiyah sure fail one!!!
Me: ?!?!?!?!??! Why did you say that?
TU: Most fail on first try.. You see I give you my cab now you dare to drive or not?!
Me: NO????
TU: Ah see, you don’t dare.
Me: No lor Uncle, I don’t have license yet leh. Against the law lor.. (and why the hell would I pay him to drive him to the driving centre?! doesnt make sense lor..)
TU: I tell you you test that time your leg will shiver as you step on the accelerator ah!
Me: No I wont?
TU: Yes you will
Me: zZzZZzzz…

After a good ten mins, I was reaching my destination le.. The uncle spent the last ten mins complaining about having to go to the Driving Centre for Taxi refreshment course and how the gahmen is just after $$$. (ZZZzzZZzz!!!!!)

TU: You like driving right.
Me: Yeah of cos.. how could you tell?
TU: I know la. Uncle drives so long already, one look at you I know you like driving or not..
Me: Haha.. okay.. ZzZzzZz
TU: Like that I give you 60% pass.
Me: Haha.. how did that come from?
TU: Like driving already I give you 50%. The other 10% is the likelihood you’ll pass on first try.
Me: ………

What logic was that?! I was sharing the encounter with my instructor who ended up just as amused as me.

Instructor: Ah.. your 13th lesson already.. how’s driving so far?
Me: Erm.. none of my instructor has died yet. So I guess I’m okay?

Whilst waiting to make my first U-turn at a junction…

Instructor: STOP STOP STOP what’re you doing!
Me: I can’t see the oncoming traffic! So I inch out abit.. Okay mah??
Instructor: Nono not okay even if you inch. Stay in the pocket.
Me: Uh.. everyone does that…~
Instructor: You’re different.. You’re L plate..
Me: Wah lao, I’m like the lowest ranked being in the entire road..!
Me: Like right?? Alot of times I’m freaking near the car in front and the other drivers just cut in without even signalling lor! WTH.. BULLIES

And when the green arrow came on, I was raring to go..

Instructor: Full lock full lock!!
Me: I know I know.. mai kan chiong.. won’t hit kerb one. whahahahahaa. Steady steady
Instructor: -_-||

Me: You see you see! My car is so fast the ah neh in front still strolling across the road when he is jaywalking! No one gives a damn abt L plates lor. Angry!

Anyway, I was making a left turn that day behind another learner’s car.. so when the green light came on..

*Wait… wait… wait*…

WAITTTTT…………

Me: Oi go leh! What’re you waiting for?!
Instructor: LOL…
Me: ………
Instructor: Auto car somemore rite.. So you see ah, sometimes drivers get impatient with L plates is like that lor…

OMG!!! I think I might have caused inconvenience like that at the beginning of my learning experience wahhaahhaa and now I’m morphing into one of those pple who gets impatient.. CANNOTTTTTTTTTTT…