July 17, 2008 @ 6:21 am
I can’t sleep
The past two days has been nothing short of an epiphany. I know the greatness of parental love. We all do. But how many of us take them for granted? I’m damn sure we all did (or some still do). I’m guilty as charged. But it wasn’t until two days ago it hit me really really REALLY hard. And by that I mean I just felt this overwhelming sense of love and patience my parents have for me. It all started when I was taking my clothes from the cupboard and I saw my mum sleeping in a very fixed position. So quiet and almost lifeless I had a very rude shock. Suddenly the feelings I would have had if the day arrives and I KNOW THAT I haven’t done what I could - THAT bang of regret was something I DEFINITELY DO NOT want to experience. EVER!!!!!!! IT WAS SUCH a STRONG bang of regret I really got a SCARE out of my life. Like a sudden sense of enlightment that I felt everything - that all parents are just working really hard in silence, in hope of some day, just one day, we’ll understand it all.
There are many, when their love is not reciprocated by a party, walk in a long endless stretch of darkness & emotional turmoil holding onto this love they may never get. I ask you not to lose yourself in love and forsake your potential to become an outstanding individual because your parents are the ones who have provided for you and brought you up with the utmost love, care and concern. You must not forget they gave you life. Be someone successful - and by successful, it’s success in what you want in life. Everyone’s definition of success is different as everyone wants different things and have different priorities in life. Someone can be the successful housewife because it’s what she wants in life - to take good care of her family. That to me, is success in own terms. Comparisons would be endless and miserable. Everyone is unique but I believe we all just want to be happy in whatever we do. Nowadays alot of articles are written on the pursuit of happiness - anyone rem Sumiko Tan wrote it a mth ago on Sunday Times? Some say that it’s not that they don’t want to move on, they can’t move on. This, my friend, is an excuse. I know we are afterall human beings made with emotions. Take your time to move on, but not too long. Time is too precious. The human’s mind is a very powerful tool. If you want it enough, you will have it.
I’m not a saint, I’m definitely not in a worthy position to preach but I’m trying to be a better person. I’m sure everyone does. Who wants to be worse in whatever things they do? No one lor. I guess that sense of “loss” and “regret” really gave me a tight slap across the face. If my head is not supported by a neck, it would have gone spinning some good rounds man.. Hahahaha..
They say you don’t know the sense of loss until you lose something. I haven’t and thankfully I’m still in time to give my all. As I grow older, I fear losing them. What would life be without them? Ever?
To my dearest father & mother, not that you both will ever read this, for all these years of patience & love, I’m eternally grateful. I will never be able to repay the depth of love back.
I’ll make the most out of my life!
With all my love.
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